I just got back from my scheduled ultrasound at the OB clinic, and, the news was as expected. My Tiny Elvis (or Elvisina) has left the building. In other words, as the very gentle, compassionate, patient, and gifted in medical terminology ultrasound technician, said … “the remaining products of conception have vacated” my uterus. My official status as an assumed “partial miscarriage” patient is no more; I now fall under the category of “complete miscarriage”.
So, today’s visit brought the closure I’d hoped for, but not without flooding my soul with new feelings of heartbreak and irreparable loss. I thought I would feel more grateful to have this behind me than I actually do. I’ve had the shakes all morning. It is a cold and blustery day here in the Twin Cities, but no one else around me seems to be as shivery as I am. Not sure if it’s hormonal, emotional… heck, at this point, maybe it’s nutritional. I am a bona fide hot mess today.
The good news is that Joan (my wonderful ultrasound tech) seems to think I should see the bleeding and cramping subside within the next few days, which will be a relief. I am also grateful that she was open to communicate everything she saw (and didn’t see), and made everything clear and easy to understand for us n00bs. In a matter of minutes, she brought more clarity to our situation than two previous visits with my OB/GYN. She even found and discussed a fibroid cyst that appeared (a new development) — the good news is that it’s up high and should not cause any complication in getting pregnant again — worst case scenario would be potential need of c-section or early delivery. She was also able to inform me of a positive new development — that my once cyst-laced ovaries (thank you, PCOS) are now clear of the classic, visible (via ultrasound) signs of polycystic ovarian syndrome (string of pearls). These were once confirmed via a previous ultrasound right after I got married. I believe she even described my ovaries in their current state as “pretty”. A tiny, yet significant, “Woohoo”.
We’ve decided that moving forward, we will be seeing another doctor at the clinic. I’ve always felt more comfortable with a female OB anyway, and after explaining our concerns and circumstances to the ultrasound tech, she seemed to agree that would be sound judgement on our part. Our current doctor seems nice enough, and competent, but his lack of communication is beyond frustrating to me. I need more guidance and “hand holding” than he seems willing to offer his patients. So, I will rest this weekend (save for day 3 of my 5k training), and will call Monday morning to make an appointment with my new doctor of choice to form a plan on how to proceed with my maternal goals.
I am looking forward to next week. Plans are in motion to meet up with my buddy (and at times, virtual life coach), Kris on Wednesday. And I hope she doesn’t mind me suggesting this… but if any of our fellow Twin Cities homies are available to hang next Wednesday afternoon, I am sure that we’d both love to have you join us! The plan is to meet on my side of town (Woodbury/Stillwater area) So… if you’d like to get in on the fun, email or tweet me. Or, (duh) comment below. 🙂
The end of next week Mal and are planning to head to Colorado to spend Easter with my folks, which should be a good distraction for me. My dad needs some help dealing with years of the family tendency to hoard crap they don’t need, so we’ll be taking a day or two to clear out his basement and hauling various loads o’ memories to Goodwill and recycling centers. Exercise – yay! On our way home, we plan to take the southerly route through Kansas City, where we will be celebrating Mal’s birthday by attending a couple of Twins games and ingesting reasonable amounts of delicious barbecue. I will remember to order all savory sauces on the side. It will be good to get some long overdue TLC from my family, and to just get away in general. Who knows, I may even feel inspired enough to take out my camera while I’m there.
Much thanks, love, and wishing a wonderful weekend to all of you.