Mind Hoard

Holy schnikies. I can’t believe that it’s been more than a month since I’ve made a post here. Not even sure where to begin at this moment…

Have you ever watched “Hoarders” on A&E? Don’t think any less of me, but right now I can totally relate to those people. I feel like I have been hoarding thoughts in my head since I set out on my trip to Colorado in November, and I have no idea how to organize and deal with any of them. Everything feels muddled and out of focus to me right now, and I can’t tell whether my avoidance of the gym is due to this lack of focus, or if my lack of focus is a result of avoiding the gym. The term vicious circle comes to mind? Anyway, I would assume these are the kinds of feeling that get the hoarders into their desperate situations, which freaks me out. I hope anyone reading this will forgive my randomness!

We got home from Colorado around December 13th, and I remember feeling like I needed to pause and take a BIG cleansing breath – but didn’t have that luxury as Christmas was darn near here (NORAD was already tracking Santa, for Pete’s sake!), and I felt the pressure mounting to get the expected shopping, cleaning, baking, planning, wrapping, working and unpacking done in time. To be able to do this, I had to unplug from everything that I didn’t HAVE to give my time and attention to. I had no extra energy to devote to thinking about Facebook, Twitter, blogging, reading, photography or friends. That included my friends at the gym.  😦  I think pulling back helped me to relax and feel less stressed, but I got so comfortable in my little world that I stopped tracking my food, and I didn’t make time to go to the gym, which definitely set me back on my weight loss. I got the hard, painful evidence of this when I weighed this morning. I’ve gained more since I got home than I did on the road… is that stress I feel again? Yup, stress. Which makes me feel like I want to unplug again – but I won’t – because I know there are people that love me that will read this and kick me in the bum to get me going. You all know where to find me, so DO it. I need you!  🙂

So, ready or not, tomorrow it’s back to the gym. I need to email Trainer Sharon and tell her to expect me, as I know she has to be seriously wondering (doubting?) about me at this point. She’s left messages and sent emails, and I haven’t responded. I am embarrassed about that, but I know she will understand. She is so good, and I have missed her friendship and our chats over the last few weeks. I can’t wait to work out with her again. I know she will inspire me and have me back on track in no time. No doubt she will be much busier now than she was pre-New Year’s, but that is my loss and just rewards for not putting in the work that was expected of me. I will work to remedy any disappointment I’ve caused my trainers (and myself) by these recent failures. Hopefully I can make it up to her by still being around and working hard by the time the New Year Resolution dieters have fallen off.

Christmas and New Year’s were nice. I was heartbroken about not getting to spend it with my family in Arizona, and maybe I didn’t deal with those emotions too well. (I buried them; that’s what I do.) Malcolm and I spent our 12th Christmas together this year, and I am so thankful for that. He always finds a way to make things special, and this year was no exception. We had the standard Norwegian Christmas Eve fare with Mal’s family (meatballs, mashed potatoes, lutefisk, lefse and pumpkin pie) on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day – which was good – but I was lonesome for my family and the traditional New Mexican cuisine we typically enjoy at Christmas. So, Mal and I found a place online where we could order authentic frozen New Mexico chile and have it quick shipped to us, so we did just that, and I made a pan of red chile enchiladas and big pot of posole stew for New Year’s Eve. It was my first time making posole, but I must say, I am pretty okay at it! I regret the overindulgence of it all, but I loved the taste of home. That is what Christmas is all about, in my mind. I kind of hope we’ve started a new tradition in our home. But as you can see, maybe next year I could cut the portions, at least in half:

Posole and Enchilada Feast 2010

Doesn’t it look yummy? Mmmm… spicy meatiness, get in my belly!

More notable news since my last post, is that we traded in our big, bad SUV – The “Behemoth”, as I liked to call it – because the lease was up and we opted to downsize to avoid the cost and inconvenience of having to fill the gas tank so frequently, especially now that we have (tried to make) a habit of going to the gym 5 or 6 times a week. So, ridiculously cool people that we are, we leased a minivan. Yes, the insane kidless couple went for the sporty Toyota Sienna. Don’t knock it ’til you’ve driven it! We like to travel; and for comfort, these cars can’t be beat. This is the second one we’ve leased (also drove one from 2004-2007), and we had no complaints. Well, Malcolm has a few… something about his masculinity, but whatever. 😉 There is an upside for him in the free XM Satellite trial and the awesome Bluetooth capabilities. Wireless iTunes and podcast streaming is sweeet! Here’s a pic of our new vessel, captained by the skipper:

The Cruisin' Vessel

Now we just need a tot or two to buckle in the back. Or a dog. That would make the in-laws panic! (The dog, not the tot.) For now, there is plenty of room for gym bags, hauls from Trader Joe’s and stuff like that. Plus, new car smell is better than food (except for maybe posole and enchiladas). I love it, don’t you?

Enough babble from me for now. You can catch me tomorrow at our Lifestyle Challenge group’s blog HERE. Since Malcolm, Marlena and I seem to be the only ones posting of late, I am going to assume that I am not the only one who fell off (and under) the bandwagon over Christmas. Hopefully we can all pull together this month and inspire each other again. Happy New Year!

6 thoughts on “Mind Hoard

  1. I was worried about you! I am glad to see you’re back and kicking. If you need some extra support I’m not that far away! Hope you have/had a great workout!

    • Thank you, Kris! Sorry to give cause to worry – and truthfully I’ve been a bit of a mess as of late, but am getting back on track. I am on a 2 day workout streak! It’s gotta start somewhere, right? Maybe we can meet up somewhere in the new year… your comments have been a great source of strength, and I thank you. 🙂

      • Sounds like a plan to me! And I’ll be keeping an eye on you. Keep up the good work, remember you feel better when you workout! Or I do even when I dont feel better atleast I am still doing it.
        We have to grab for what we want!

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